Thursday, April 21, 2011

Overthinking

Another sleepless night again.
        I have been doing a lot of thinking and rethinking these few days. I know for a fact that every single day of our lives, we make choices - and most of the time, we regretted them. The question is, how can I tell if they're unmistakably life-altering bad choices, or simply an occasional discontentment with life after having a bad day? After that, should I just carry on with my life, because it's the easiest way out; or should I make right my mistake even if it means starting all over again?

Monday, April 4, 2011

We're Different

For years I had been made to think that homesickness is a form of weakness. I had been ashamed by my friend's scoffing on the frequency of our homecomings, humiliated by her friend's casual joke for home missers to grow up, and today, another harsh comment on Facebook hit me hard on the face. To quote its exact words, it says run home and hide under your mother's hairy armpits. While this comment was never new to me, this was the first time it was being directed right to my face. I felt an intense burning to my cheeks the moment they hit my eyes, which I realised a few seconds later, was not out of shame, but of anger. And I thought, screw the comment. Screw all of those self-righteous, stone-hearted, I-don't-miss-home-I-'m-so-tough hypocrites.  You want to think that being all alone out in the world, miles away from home simply translated to you being oh-so-independent and grown up and ready to take on the world, fine, I'm not the one to contradict you. But I'm not going to feel ashamed of my feelings anymore. I'll not be afraid to admit about my homesickness any time of the day. I'm not going to look for a private spot to cry into the phone, or IMing or text messaging my family to tell them that I miss them instead of saying it out loud through Skype. You want to laugh at me? Go ahead. Because FYI, I think all of you are pathetic, because while you're so busy trying to be somebody in this world, you started forgetting who you already are.